Spank the Monkeys

My office just instituted a revised dress code. Seems that the monkeys were having a hard time interpreting the old one, and continued to push the envelope of “Business Casual”. Luckily I work in California, which has one of the looser dress codes in the country, so khakis and a nice shirt are acceptable as business casual. As opposed to New York where a full suit and tie are considered casual; It’s only “Business Dress” if you put the stick in your ass for the day. This change in policy was instituted 2 weeks ago. It should be as fresh in their minds as the dookie they just heaved across their cubicle. Alas, you can’t teach monkeys to type or how to dress.

So imagine my surprise when I cross paths with Curious George, fully decked out in his wrinkled khakis, un-tucked and wrinkled beach bum shirt, and a pair of crisp clean Keds. I thought a college degree was a pre-requisite to working here, obviously common sense is not. Of course his manager won’t say anything to him. It might hurt his feelings and whooping monkey sounds would reverberate out of the conference room and break the other monkeys concentration. So instead, we will just look at this and all the other monkeys the way you look at an invalid trying to reach their piss bucket or a baby sticking a paperclip in a wall socket, with sadness and remorse.