Santa Welfare State

I am not a fan of Santa. With 30 days until Christmas he is revving up his mooch machine in order to further perpetuate his myth of giving. You see Santa is the original welfare king. Think about it. Anyone with kids has to buy gifts for Christmas and usually the best ones get his name on the “From” tag. I have two kids that I work hard to support and ensure they have what they need. Then come Christmas time I like to get them some nice gifts. So I go and buy something really cool and guess who gets all the credit? That’s right, Mr. “Sit on his ass all year and watch as the stupid monkeys spend all their money on gifts”. He doesn’t even have to wrap the presents or deliver them. What the hell is that? Plus, not only do the cool presents come from him but then the lame ones like clothes and educational toys come from me. So not only do I not get credit for the good ones but I get knocked down a peg for getting them crappy ones.

He has adults snowed too. Even adults sometimes put his name on the tag to be cutesy. He has drilled his MO so deep into our psyche that even when we are fully aware of his bullshit we still do it. Anyone who decries dictators and cults of personality (I’m looking at you Mr. “Yes we can” Prius driver) should look into the mirror on Christmas day when not only did you perpetuate his directive but you are wearing his stupid hat too. Remember the Nazi’s wore little pointy hats.

To top it all of the story he feeds us a story about how he and his slaves make toys for little kids and delivers them all over the world in one night. That isn’t even remotely believable. Next thing you know we will be told that a giant bunny runs around our house on Easter crapping pastel turds everywhere. So this year I say we revolt. Stop giving him credit. Stop falling into his trap and letting him brain wash you. Stop his exploitation of midgets. We can change this and end Clausian Fascism once and for all!