Friday, August 11

Thank You Mr Science Teacher

When I was in elementary school, every year we had the same stupid science project where we stuck some kids baby tooth into a glass of cola and watched how, in 3 weeks, the tooth started to decay. My question is; who the fuck is leaving soda in their mouth for 3 weeks?

Odiferous Safes

America’s energy woes are long and increasingly becoming worse. One major cause is the heating and cooling of buildings, both residential and commercial. Which makes me wonder why buildings are not constructed in the same manner as elevators. Have you ever noticed that elevators wreak? How is it that a smell can stay in an elevator for so long? There are a few common odiferous stenches, ranging from the very common cigarette smoke to the stinky onion sandwich and of course the fat man spewing pools of rancid underarm sweat smell. My point is, if these smells can live in an elevator that opens and closes constantly, why can’t we create our living spaces out of the same type of insulation?

Monday, August 7

Why Not Argyle?

I have a shirt in my closet that I wear all the time. It is comfy, simple and goes with everything. It’s almost as if it is an extension of my skin. So much so, that I think I may get a tattoo of the shirt on my sleeve. If that sounds absurd, think about how absolutely trashy the concept of a tattoo sleeve is. Why would anyone permanently adhere the ugliest artwork onto their arms for all to see? It is the same reason people buy ridiculously overpriced designer clothes. So someone will ask them about it and they can feel cool explaining where they got it and how much it cost. Plus it is so anti-establishment.

How do you get that high paying job, or any job for that matter, that you would wear a short sleeved shirt? Much like the chicken and egg, which comes first, the dead end job or the tattoo sleeve? When you are at a bar, do you roll up your sleeves hoping the girl notices the naked pictures of your ex-girlfriend, in order to start a conversation? Isn’t this just like the rich guy who makes sure his Rolex is always front and center? So many questions. Maybe I should tattoo them on my arm so I don’t forget them.