Tuesday, January 9

Who Got Served?

When I think of stomping the yard, I picture putting on my favorite pair of lawn aerating shoes and going to town. However there is a new connotation of the term. From what I can see, it is a way that people can show their dominance over others through some sort of con-fangled interpretive dance that involves a large group of fraternity brothers stomping and jumping in front of other large groups of fraternity brothers. I know what you’re thinking. This guy is racist since stomping is an Afro-American thing. Far from it; if you read my articles, you would know I am an equal opportunity offender. I’m not racist unless stupidity is a new race type and I missed the memo.

Back to stomping.

There is a new movie out called “Stomp the Yard”. I haven’t seen it and, unless someone wants to send me some tickets and my hourly rate to watch this abortion, I won’t be. This is not the first movie about this phenomenon. I can’t remember the names of any of the others because they were unmemorable. Although who could forget “You got Served”. I hoped that movie, being a self-parody without trying, would be the end of this genre but I guess I was wrong. I will never forget the 2 months that people went around saying “You got served” instead of “Burn”, or “Face” or even the ‘80’s classic….”Moded”.

I have heard rumors that this stomping phenomenon is widespread. I have even heard that there are stomping studios. Now that is capitalism at it’s finest. Find a stupid fad, get in on it early, then teach the sheeple that come along later how to do it; all the while laughing at these yahoos for paying money for you to teach them how to look like asshats. There is also a large homosexual undercurrent involved in a large group of guys who live together, dancing in unison while, more men who live together watch and wait their turn. Very homosexual gangbang-esque. Regardless, I am sure this now mainstream “Sport” will be oh so uber-cool for the next couple weeks until the movie is pulled from theaters. Which should make you happy and the Stomp Teachers a little richer. Viva la Reagan Revolucion!