Barista Bashing

If the barista at Starbucks puts the opening of my lid over the seam of the cup again, I am going to rip the ring out of her nose and plant it in her forehead.

Tramp Stamps

Ahh, teenage rebellion, is there anything quite as cute and stupid? Our parents used to wear really tight jeans that you needed pliers to zip up. Then it was really hardcore to get something other than your ears pierced. And now that we find prison art to be so passé’, girls are going that extra mile to make themselves stand out from the adult crowd and fit right in with their peers. Yes, nothing says “I am different” than doing exactly what your friends are.

Of course I am talking about the phenomenon of girls getting tattoos above their ass-crack. Whether you call it “Fart Art”, “The Cum Target”, or my personal favorite, the “Tramp Stamp”, it’s still the same thing. Lame! Come on girls, how many of you are going to get a butterfly or a rose permanently planted above your brown-eye? It simply isn’t rebellious. In fact it’s pretty sad and pathetic. Our society cannot continue to try and one up itself every generation. What’s next, forking your tongue? Oh wait, that’s being done to. Why don’t teens just cut off their heads and let Darwinism take affect?

You! Yeah, you with the 63 tattoos, 24 piercings, and shallow sense of self worth, get your pin cushion face and your Crayola scribbled body out of the gene pool so there is more room for us.

Long Time, No Drivel

You could say I have been on vacation for a couple weeks. You would be dead wrong though. In all actuality, I got a new job and have had zero time to update this. Of course I have a little time at home but this is not an at-home blog. This is an “I am bored at work and feel like yapping about stuff that is completely unimportant to everyone but me” blog. Therefore, you can now welcome me back with the praise and fanfare I so duly deserve.

So I have this new job. It’s at one of those newer style financial places. Not a brokerage but more of an Institutional Investor. I’ll let that fly over your head and splatter on the wall for a second. Great! Now this place is filled with mostly mid to late twenties people. Of course along with that demographic goes a few types of people. There are the corporate wannabe’s, the happy-go-luckys and the fresh out of college kids. Then there is my least favorite……..

The “I am just smart enough to get a good job but I don’t want anyone to take me seriously so I will wear my shittiest clothes to work everyday and go undercover, incognito.” Jack-hole. You know the guy. Whenever a big fish client or upper management is in the office, the front reception sends out the “Make sure and dress nicely” email. Of course this douche still comes in his Saturday morning worst with his frayed jeans, oversized button up t-shirt, and his nicest pair of gym shoes. I want to just come up behind him and put my fist through his skull, dig around for the brain inside, find nothing and walk away.

It’s like they need a map through life to keep from falling of the planet.