You Saw My Blinker Bitch

I have come across the laziest human attribute. It is simply the act of using your blinker. I know what your thinking; "But it takes so much time and energy to lift my finger off the steering wheel and flip the blinker on." Of course it's difficult but I think your anxiety can be overcome. First off, we are the laziest yet most multitasked humans in the history of the world. We can't make our own coffee (That's what Starbucks is for) but we can drink it, while eating a Breakfast Jack, listening to Howard Stern and staring at the hottie in the car behind us. All the while navigating the most treacherous road conditions known to man.

Most people don't use their blinker because there is nobody around. Nobody behind me so why use it? Let's start with people in front of you. Don't you hate when you're waiting to pull out onto a street and there is a car coming? So you wait for them to go by but they slow down and turn onto your street. "Dammit" I could have went 30 seconds ago if that guy would have been polite enough to use his blinker. It's not just politeness to your fellow fossil fuel burner that is important. The biggest reason people say they don't use their turn signal is because no one is behind them. Here's a concept for ya, maybe if you used your blinker the guy in your blindspot, that you didn't see, may alert you to the fact that your about to put a Miata tattoo on the side of your new Hummer. This is especially important with the advent of new driver attention grabbing devices like cell phones, navigation systems, complex stereos, and yapping wives.

So next time you decide to merge, turn, or change lanes, take that oft under used ring finger out of your brown-eye and activate your blinker. You can clean the feces off later.