Wednesday, March 21

Table Nazis

So I just got back from a nice little trip to NYC. During that time I ate at more restaurants than I can remember. Which led to this observation; why do people sit at a table long after they have paid their check while there is a large line waiting. Now go with me for a second. Here is the story of the worst offender.

We had a party of 4 and a reservation for 7:45. We should up early hoping to score a table early since we were tired from walking. We walk into the establishment and it is pretty crowded. No worries, we have reservations. So we get the “10 minutes, sir” routine for over an hour. The entire time we are waiting we are noticing people that have paid their check, have nothing to eat or drink, and are still at their table. By the time we are seated the restaurant is absolutely packed. This is a pretty happening place and getting a reservation on short notice is pretty tough.

So we order our meals and some drinks and notice the table next to us is done and has their check. Since we were now keeping score on these types, we watched them. All in all they spent another 45 minutes (No joke) at the table. Finally when the busboy took their water glasses and began clearing the table, they left in a huff. We asked the manager of the place what he does to those types since his reservations are backed up and people like this, who are doing nothing more than talking, stick around and waste tables. He said he usually politely asks if he can buy the guests a drink at the bar but tonight the bar was packed so he couldn’t. We asked why he doesn’t just ask them to leave. He gave the PC answer of not wanting to offend people.

Keep an eye out for these people. I think they mostly hang out in metro areas but all of them must be punished. So all you table huggers, watch out. We the people will start standing up for our tables and take back our reservations from the pudgy grasp of the table mongers.

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