Yet Another Conspiracy

I have blown the lid off the great gum conspiracy. Do you remember 10 years ago when you could buy and 18 stick pack of chewing gum for 50¢? Right next to that would be a 6 stick pack of Trident. You would laugh at the moron that would pay more money for less gum. Well my friend, you are now the moron. Look at the gum aisle next time you are at your local bodega. You will notice you can’t buy that 18 pack anymore. In fact you’re lucky if you can get 15 sticks of flavorless cardboard for less than a buck. Now it is proliferated by “Boutique” gums like Orbitz and Dentyne. Inside these packs are 5-10 pieces that are half the size of the old sticks and you are now paying twice as much. What the hell? Not only that, but the greatest gum of all time is nary around anymore. Of course I speak of Big League Chew. BLC dispensed with the stick and sold itself by the pound. You knew what you were getting and never paid more than 50¢. I challenge you Mr. Wrigley, to develop a long lasting 20 pack of gum and charge less than 75¢. In fact I triple dog dare you. But I know you won’t, mostly because you’re dead, but also because you sir are an oppressor of society and I put you in the same category as Hitler and Stalin (And Rosie O’Donnell). Fess up to your crime or be prepared for the wrath and fury of a fed up nation!