Idiotic-Idiosyncratic-Idioms

Every so often you get to see the not so rare and beautiful city dwelling species; the Idiotic-Idiosyncratic-Idioms (From her out referred to as the “I-Cubed”. I saw two such species on my way through the thickly overgrown streets of downtown. The first was in his most natural of habitats; the oversized truck. This particular fauna was an older male with the normal gray markings on its head and the usual white coffee cup in one hand. He was maneuvering his chariot looking for a place to leave it while he attended to his ritualistic daily patterns. However this particular parking lot has two entrances. One has a very obvious tollbooth and a sign saying “Public Entrance”. The second has no tollbooth, a card reader, a large gate, and an extremely large sign that says “Monthly Parking Only” with more verbage to the fact that daily public parking was down the road at the other entrance.

This I-Cubed pulled right up to the gate marked “Monthly Parking” and began to stare wildly at the card reader. He probably mistook it for a mate but one can not be sure. During this long break from his usual caffeinated induced drudgery, two cars pull up behind him waiting to get in. At this point the I-Cubed realizes he cannot get in by hitting the card reader with his dinosaur bone and attempts to back his chariot out. After nearly hitting the car behind him, he begins to use his distress call and puts his chariot in reverse. The two cars behind him realize they have an I-Cubed on their hands, attempted to back out of the driveway. Unfortunately for all, this particular street is quite busy and neither car can back up. At this point the I-Cubed begins to resemble a hominid in heat and begins to beat on his chariot’s steering wheel with ruthless abandon, sending blaring calls through the skies of the urban jungle.

Fearing for my life, I begin to pick up my pace. I know from experience that these episodes can get extremely dangerous. After a block I looked back as the I-Cubed shook its hairy paw and roared out it’s window.