Random Rants

If you’re a man, and if you’re reading this I would assume you are, do you peruse the bevy of nose goblins after clearing their cave into a Kleenex?

How hard is it to hold the elevator for someone who is 8 feet behind you? Thanks a lot you bitch.

When a store runs a sale, and you get there 3 days after the sale starts, and they are out of whatever it is you were looking for, they didn’t do it on purpose. It wasn’t a conspiracy against you. Get over it.

Harleys are the biggest stereotype affirmer in society. You are all dirtbags.

When a freeway splits into two and you are going to the left hand freeway, get the fuck out of the far right hand lane.

To the guy in the SUV who has a fresh key mark and a few mucus balls on their door; it’s called a compact spot for a reason. Squeezing through my trunk to get in my car is not normal operating procedure.

Hey liberal commie who wouldn’t shut up about his political beliefs for 30 minutes while I was trying to enjoy my lunch at the ski resort; Bush is not the cause of all your problems, John Kerry did not have a distinguished military career, Al Gore is not right about global warming, and Hillary Clinton will not make a great President.

If you are excited about the iPhone, you should go stick your head in a garbage disposal. That phone is already available from 4 other companies. Stop sucking Steve Jobs twizzler.

The Office is the greatest show on television. For every annoying Dwight, there is a more annoying Andy.